Thanks Rachel. I am glad you found this interesting. I think the first thing I would say is that I am really glad that stress is not a problem for you, at least generally. Though it is always good to be on our guard against inflating the importance of any area of life above what it would rightly warrant. In terms of helping people…well that is where I am going, firstly through the lens of helping ourselves where we struggle, but I can talk about how we help each other. If you read between the lines of what I have written so far, you will spot that the issue is idolatry. What is raising the importance beyond what it warrants, even to the point of raising it to being important above all else, if not idolatry. So, the three key things to say in terms of helping people would be first and foremost, to not exploit it. So try to think about areas where you feel more at ease being lax because you know someone else who will cover it. I don’t mean where jobs or roles are rightly someone else’s and not yours. But I mean things like that old saying — if you want something done, ask a busy person….
Secondly, as with all idolatry, we need to work to not re-enforce it. So trying to be aware of where this might be a problem for people and trying to avoid validating that in a way which is unhelpful. For me, that became crystal clear when, due to illness, & COVID etc, my first Sunday back in church after about 3/4 months away, the very first thing that anyone said to me was “Ah, Chris! do you know where the stop cock is for Simeon House?” Even before hello/how are you?. So that just reinforces the sense of value I derive from my usefulness.
And thirdly, The formula would be “It’s not a big deal” + Tact = Your answer. We need to be working to gently remind each other of grace and what is truly significant in life. I am increasingly persuaded that deep knowledge of and understanding of grace coupled with a growing humility is at the core of our struggles to be godly. And this is something we can help each other with very much. Though it does take time and patience.
Honestly, it is a combination of establishing godly and right principles, priorities and values in our own mind, then letting those govern how we live, how we relate to one another and how we speak to one another.
